Ranger Randomness
by ShadowedSword21
Summary: Collection of oneshots for Gilan, Horace, Halt, Will, and contain humor...and other...hilarious...factors. flame me if you want, I can always use critisizm.
1. Lucky Training Session

Lucky Training Session

Will sat up in one of the tall trees by Halt's cabin, searching for his prize. He had been assigned special training classes; find all five of the hidden coins. Halt had taken the pleasure of hiding the coins himself, but only within a twenty meter radius of the cabin.

Will had found one; it was suspended at the top of the tree he sat on now. Will grumbled something under his breath and in return heard a whisper in his ear.

"I heard that." Halt said, and Will whirled around, slipping off of his tree branch as his master chuckled.

Will grabbed a branch as he fell; only to have it break as soon as he touched it, he sighed and grunted as his back hit a tree branch, stopping his sudden plunge. Will moaned and glared up at Halt, who smirked and disappeared.

Will scowled and got out of the tree, stumbling on a root, which had a coin hidden under it. Will smiled, he was getting lucky! Or so he thought as the ground crumbled beneath him and he was thrown into a dark pit.

Will rolled his eyes, realizing that Halt had placed a trap near every single one of the coins. This was going to be a long training session.

Two and a half hours later, Will had gathered four coins. The fifth he had given up on, until Halt walked over.

Will saw a small glittering circle hidden in the folds of his cloak, even worst, there were five glittering objects. Will snatched the coins from Halt's belt, muttering how ridiculous that was.

"Halt what was the point of that exercise?" Will snapped, glaring at his devious master.

"Well, everyone wanted to see you fail at something. Besides, he did the same thing to me!" a voice ran out behind Will, startling him.

"Gillian, you never found the third one, at least Will found four old coins, you barely found two!" Halt said, raising an eyebrow.

Gillian scowled and hopped down from his perch on the roof. He walked up to Halt, glaring venomously at him.

"You're going to regret those words Halt." Gillian said, and disappeared into the woods.


	2. Horace's Pranks

Pranks of Horace

Will yawned as the early morning sun woke him up from his slumber. He was having a rather pleasant dream of Alyss, yet he couldn't remember it.

He got up and glanced at the sun through the window, guessing that it was around ten, he slept later today. He yawned again before walking out of his room to find Halt reading the paper, sipping a cup of coffee. Will blinked once, finding something about the room odd but, dismissed it as being early and he was tired.

He fetched himself a cup of coffee; and sat down, pouring a large glob of honey into the mug. Halt rolled his eyes and continued reading. Will smiled as he drank his cup feeling the sudden rush in awareness. He realized there in deed was something wrong with the room.

Everything was reversed or upside down. For example, his mattress was oddly flipped when he woke up, now how someone did that with him on it is a mystery. The coat hanger was flipped and the cups had been as well. His bow had been unstrung and all his arrows were laid out on the floor in a word.

It read, Good morning Will, you still sleep like a baby.

Will raised an eyebrow, but collected the arrows and put them into his quiver and restrung his bow. Then he went to the castle to ask around for who did this or who might have done this. What he didn't realize was there was someone sleeping on the chairs.

As he walked through the halls he saw that the shield decorating the walls had been turned sideways and the swords fixed to the opposite position. He found the kitchen in disarray and Alyss's room a mess. Dresses and shirts and shorts and pants were thrown everywhere. Alyss was still sleeping, not surprising since she ran three different messages to fiefs that were at least four fiefs away from each other and another three from Redmont.

Will tapped her shoulder and almost lost his arm as Alyss brought up a dagger from under the pillow. He jumped back, as Alyss blinked awake.

"Is your room usually this messy or were you looking for something?" Will inquired.

She looked up and glanced around, "I was looking for a lost earring, but I know I cleaned up."

"Then I know who did this." Will stated and walked out.

He walked straight up to Halt's cabin, opened the door and picked up the man sprawled on the couch.

"Horace, get up!" Will snapped, Halt just stared at him.

"Huh, huh, what," Horace mumbled, blinking several times.

"Where you playing prank's all around this fief this morning?" Will asked, and heard a large bang, a series of shatters and a large yelp.

Horace looked at him and grinned before promptly falling back asleep. When Will walked back out side he saw a cat, glued to a tree, a window pane by his foot and another falling from the top of the castle tower. He also saw that his door was now on the ground, and it hinges and bolts, missing.

"Yeah, I'm going back to sleep." Will said.

_Ack, I wanted a better reaction than that! I spent three whole hours unscrewing all those bolts from every single door in the fief! And I even did some extra things! _ Horace thought, scowling mentally while keeping a pleasant grin on the outside.


	3. Horace's Punishment

Horace's Torture

Horace yawned as a throbbing headache erupted in his skull. He stiffened a moan, knowing that if the Battlemaster heard he would be swabbing the corridors for weeks. He slowly opened his eyes, and found himself, not in his bunk, but tied to the rafters of a house.

Beneath him was a set of tables and at one of them was a shorter man with a molted green cloak, the hood was down, revealing dark brown hair or black hair, the light was too dim. He stared at the person and realized that one, it was a Ranger, and two, and it was Will.

His eyes widened as Will looked up at Horace and grinned, Horace immediately realized that he should never, prank Will again, ever! He also realized that the aromas in the room reminded him of a kitchen or a restaurant.

Alyss came into view as well as Halt, Crowley, Princess Cassandra, Mr. Chubb, and Eric, from Skandia. His eyes widened as Jenny came out, followed by Ralph who set the large table. Jenny smiled and told them the special today and asked how everything was going.

"I escorted Alyss to seven of her assignments," Will said.

"I had thirteen assignments," Alyss said, smirking slightly.

"Reports," came Crowley's tense answer.

"Nothing really," came the princess.

"Dealing with criminals and reports with Crowley," Halt stated.

"Taxes, shipping, trade, laws and bunch of other unimportant things, who cares, I just want some good food!" Eric said.

_I want some good food too,_ Horace thought, having found a gag in his mouth.

The group order and thirty minutes later, the food had arrived. There was an oven baked turkey, with fresh vegetables surrounding it and several different salads and a large stuffed hog, which Eric had brought over to have cooked specially.

Horace's mouth watered at the wonderful aromas wafting up to him from his bound position. His muffled groans and stomach grumblings went unnoticed as the groups began chatting and stuffing their faces, Eric especially. Horace's stomach seemed to twist around in painful knots as Eric cut a large slab of meat from the hog, placing it on his plate.

_I would rather be cut to pieces and feed to starving dogs than watch this._ Horace groaned again, to transfixed by the delectable food to close his eyes. The only thought running through his head where,_ I want it, I want it, and I want it!_

Will glanced up to look at the starving Horace, and raised his glass slightly to say, "I know exactly what I'm putting you through." Horace moaned, the only thing worse would be if they…got…a …cherry … pie.

"Excuse me Ralph, but can you please get Jenny to make a cherry pie for us." Will asked.

Everyone's face lit up at the mention of Jenny's famous cherry pie. Halt cleaned his plate and said, "Make it two, actually four." Ralph smiled and hurried off to inform Jenny.

Ralph immediately brought back four, hot, steaming cherry pies, laying them all out on the table in easy to reach location, except for one person in the room. Horace felt his neck pop as he tried to stretch his neck far enough to reach the so distant pie.

The only thing Horace cared about more than his armor, his sword, his bed, and his sleep, was a cherry pie. And it was unbearable to have one of Jenny's cherry pies in front of him and not be able to touch it. He moaned and groaned up a storm as his friends devoured the pies, except for Will who sat quietly and waited for everyone to pair off and leave, until he was the only one left in the restaurant.

Will took up his fork and ever so slowly, took a small bite of his pie. Horace moaned and Will smiled deviously and proceeded to eat his next bite, and his next bite, ever so torturously slow. Horace had found the rafter his head was tied to and banged his head against it.

"Horace, you're going to hurt yourself." Will said a small forkful of cherry pie, halfway to his mouth.

Horace nearly cried this was so mean. He wanted that cherry pie so bad by now. To add to this, Will quietly ate the slice of pie until there was only one forkful left.

It was almost to his mouth by then and then he suddenly put the fork down and said, "Oh, I think I'm to stuffed to finish this." And he left.

Horace stared at the small sliver of pie, sliver of happiness wanting it like beggars want gold. Horace banged his head against the rafters in frustration, by the time he lost consciousness the rafters needed to be replaced.

Will strolled in then and looked up at Horace's limp body and said, "That was quite amusing. I think I got more than enough entertainment out of this. Jenny can you please bring me a cherry pie?" Will called and an immediate scramble, followed by hurried footsteps sounded.

"Here you are," Jenny said, handing Will a large cherry pie.

Will smiled and stepped onto the table, walking up to directly below Horace and said, "You have no idea how long I have waited to do this." And Will pied Horace in the face.

Horace woke up to still be tied to the ceiling, but thankfully with one of his arms untied. His face was covered in dry pie crust, and cold cherry pie insides. Horace instantly knew what had transpired and yelled out, "WILL I'm GOING TO GET YOU BACK FOR THIS!"


	4. Traps are Fun!

Traps

"Now Will, you need to watch out for the traps people might have set. If you're caught when you're sneaking around then you very well could endanger the mission. So, we'll practice in these woods." Halt said, casually as Will inspected his knife.

Will nodded and sharpened a small nick out of the edge as Halt rambled on about the traps. Halt eventually noticed Will's systematic nods and grunts and stopped. Will took no notice to this and continued with the system.

"Excuse me Will while I go and fire an arrow at the Baron and run around cutting people's heads off." Halt said, and Will nodded.

"Would you mind shooting an arrow through my skull, I have an itch back there," Halt said, and again Will grunted.

Halt mumbled something under his breath before realizing what he could do. He smiled deviously and got some rope and set up a simple trap for Will. Then he got Alyss out of the castle and told her to stand at a direct point on the shooting range.

"Will I hope you don't mind it, but Alyss is in my way, oh well, I think I'll just shot through her then." Halt said, as he stood directly in front of his trap and Will.

Will snapped to attention and darted forward as Halt dropped his bow and pulled a rope that Will hadn't noticed. The rope loop snapped around Will's legs as he was hoisted up into the tree with the help of Horace.

"That should teach you to pay attention when I lecture you." Halt said.

"I'm glad I had a part in this, "Alyss said.

"I get payback." Horace said simply, pulling out a cream pie from somewhere.

"Oh dear God!" was Will's reaction.

The Halt, Alyss, Gilan and every other Ranger all came out of absolutely nowhere, all holding at least one pie each. Will groaned and muttered that he would never use pies as torture every again. Then he got a pie in the face, again, and again, and again.


	5. Coffee!

Coffee Addictions

Will twitched at the table as Halt came out of the room. Halt noticed two things, he didn't smell coffee and he didn't see coffee. And with Will already up and twitch that meant one thing…they were out of coffee.

"Tell me we are not out of coffee." Halt said, sitting down at the table.

"WE ARE AND I DON'T LIKE IT!" Will shouted startling Halt.

"Why don't you get a bag from the castle or the store?" Halt asked.

"They're out too!" Will replied.

"How about the next fief did you check there?" Halt asked, slightly disturbed.

"Every single fief is out, mostly because of Ranger's love of coffee but also because of crooks and thieves! I check every single fief today!" Will cried, banging his head on the table.

"How did you manage that? Did you use three horses or something?" Halt asked, confused.

"Actually I used seven but that's unimportant!" Will continued banging his head in frustration and desperation.

At that moment Gilan walked in smiling. Will instantly looked up at his friend and then sniffed. He smelled coffee beans… Will abruptly got up and tackled Gilan as Halt rolled his eyes at his apprentice. Will retrieved the coffee beans, and started making a batch for everyone as if nothing had every happened. Gilan however, had a large knot on his head from a striker.

**This was a really short one because…who can write a long story based about Coffee? I feel sorry for Tug; I bet Will didn't even give him an apple. The next chapters going to be…interesting.**


	6. Ranger Fails

**I'm running out of ideas so PLEASE help me out with this! Today I'll probably just make some fails of Will and Horace and maybe a Halt one. It's going to be hard…Halt failing at something….**

Tracking:

Will searched the ground for any foot prints from his mentor. He found a set and began following them carefully. He followed, and followed and fell. The false tracks had led him off a cliff. Ouch, he just hit the water! Wait…now he's sinking, no he just grabbed the ledge…now he's climbing, aww he fell again.

Pies

Horace raced into the pie shop and immediately demanded for the cherry pie section. He was directed over to it and he grabbed a pie and shoved the whole thing into his mouth and started chewing. His eyes widened as a dull snap was heard and Horace clenched his teeth. He swallowed and yelled, "Will, I'm gonna ET oo!" For his tongue had been…preoccupied by a large mouse trap.

Whoa I can't believe it!

Halt walked after Will, ducking under lower branches and stepping over the vines. He yawned and Will immediately turned and thrusted his striker into Halt's mouth. Halt raised an eyebrow as Will raised a pot of scalding hot coffee. His eyes widened as Will kicked him over a poured the liquid down his mentors throat.

Punishment

Halt swallow cold herbal tea as Will gave a muffled cry. Will groaned as Halt shook his head. Will had been tied up to the branch of a tree, upside down. This was because the fact of lack of enough rope to secure him right-side up. Halt placed an apple on Will's feet. He raised his longbow, pulling the string back with little effort and released a clean shot. The arrow sailed through the air and…oh…ouch…I feel sorry for that poor chipmunk. It lost its tail for an apple, a trade that I would have made. But still, Halt missed!

Gilan

Gilan crept silently to his mentor's door, awaiting any sound of movement. The sunset had masked his approach and he had effectively silence Abelard with an apple. He silently started for the doorknob, then thought better of it and went to the small kitchen window. He quietly unlatched the window, and took a small bottle of oil out from his pocket. He slipped it into the house and oiled he hinges to silence the slightly rusted bolts. Then he opened it, satisfied that it had made no sound and looked around through the window. Halt was sitting in a chair by the fire, sipping coffee and Will was sprawled out on the floor panting and drinking coffee by the fire. He smiled and slipped through the window without a sound. He crawled quietly to behind the couch and flinched as Halt readjusted in the chair. He let out a mental yes and quietly rose to a knelling position behind Halt's chair. He reached forward, over the chair cushion and grabbed…nothing. He stood up to find the chair and the floor around the fire empty. He felt a tapping on his shoulder and saw Will staring at him with a large cup of coffee. Halt was standing behind him shaking his head. Then he muttered, "It was the hinges, they squeaked when you shut them and you forgot to get Tug an apple." Gilan fell forward onto the ground, letting his head bang in defeat HE would never get a chance to show Halt or Will up. Would he?

**Review and PLEASE send me some ideas. I really need them! That and tell me if you didn't laugh at least once in this story. Cause I almost died writing the Horace one. That and I had the same experience. Ouch.**


	7. Summer Days

**I thought of this while watching the trees in my backyard and my cat sleeping on the floor. So it might be good or bad. Oh well!**

The sunlight flickered in between the trees as Will watched Horace run after Gilan, who had chosen this moment to steal one of Horace's apples. Will snickered as he tripped and was sent rolling into Tug, who snorted and trotted away.

Will yawned and then relaxed in his tree as Gilan chuckled and Horace challenged him to a duel over the apple. Will watched the two sparred and he observed all of their horses chatting with one another. It was peaceful days such as this that made Will love the woods and its wonders.

He slouched in his tree and quickly slipped and fell down, landing on his face. This brought laughter to everyone, including the gruff voice of his former mentor as he walked up with a large pot of coffee. Gilan glanced at him before knocking Horace's sword out of his hands and picking up the apple with a smirk.

Horace smirked too as Gilan took a bite and gagged. Somehow, Horace had filled the insides of the apple with an assortment of mousetraps. He probably meant Will to eat it but… Gil works just as well. Halt chuckled at his former apprentices and Shadow came up and bit his leg. He yelped and dropped the large pot of coffee.

Will dove for it, caught it and also a face full of dirt. He paused and laughed and threw the coffee to Gil, who caught it and easily poured the contents down Horace's open mouth. Horace bit back a gag and choked on it instead while he drowned his burning mouth in water.

The Rangers laughed and Horace pulled a trip wire. A large cord wrapped around there feet and they were pulled up into the air. They continued laughing as the wiggled out of the ensnarement and tackled Horace. It was nice summer days that Will loved the most because fun was always about. That and Cassandra.

She smiled and glanced up from her book at the picnic table as Alyss grabbed a pie and smeared it in Horace's face. Cassandra pulled out a sling and hurled a small rock at the Ranger, all who dodged but Will. He scowled, but laughed anyways. Summer Days.

Malcolm appeared and threw a mudball in between them all and chuckled as they coughed. He patted Will on the back and asked him how he was. Then Halt a small tablet. Halt chewed on it and then immediately spit it out and ran to the water barrel, drowning whatever the taste was away.

A pie impaled itself on the side of everyone cheek as Crowley appeared, wielding a modified arrow that had a pie holder and the arrow was attached to the bowstring. You would never lose your pie arrow then!

Then everybody laughed. Yup, this is what summer days are all about. Minus the pie parts, the mudballs, Coffee torture, getting impaled by a stone pebble and getting pied

**This wasn't a really fun one, but I somewhat tried. Like I said, it's from my cat and a tree. I'll probably stop and make some other ones for different books or something. So, read, rate, and tell me which one you liked best as well as REVIEW!**


	8. Excuses

Will's Troubles

Will moaned as he sat in a chair. He had been sitting in that particular chair, for seven hours, listening to a lecture, from Alyss. Ironically it was a lecture about something that used to interest Will, coffee.

"Will, your coffee intakes are worse than anybody in this fiefs! You drink at least a cup every five hours! Halt isn't this bad; he has a cup every morning, evening and occasional one at lunch! You need to cut down on the levels of caffeine in your body or I'll kill you!" Alyss said.

_Let's see here, excuse available: Halt has been cured of coffee because of his dear wife. I have not been. Every Ranger in the corps loves coffee, I am no exception. Rangers run on coffee and possibly hot chocolate when we're unusually out of coffee, but only for a day or an hour before we buy or steal more. Coffee is addictive, just like warmweed. I'm a Ranger; we ALL take in excessive amounts of the stuff._ Eventually he settled on the one that would get him out of another lecture, hopefully.

"Alyss, your hair looks beautiful today. Did you do something different today? It looks so much softer and smooth." Will said, smiling beneath his cloak.

"Thank you Will! I never knew you paid any attention to me! I always thought there was a sneaky little boy watching me." Alyss blushed slightly.

"I only want your safety Alyss." Will smiled, visibly and left the room as Alyss cheerfully got up and combed her hair again.

"I'm so glad I picked that then, well I love coffee, idiot. I would have been murdered!" Will chuckled silently to himself as Horace walked by.

"What was that Will?" Horace asked as he halted in front of his good friend.

"I just got out of one of Alyss's seven hour lectures, this time it was about coffee intakes. I don't see why she bothers it's not like the entire Ranger corps' aren't addicted to it. I'm just a bit smaller." Will sighed.

"She cares about you, and she's also running after you carrying a broom and looks angry. What did you say to her?" Horace asked as Will took off down the corridor of the castle.

"She had great, smooth hair today!" Will called as he jumped out the window and caught a tree branch as he fell.

Horace glanced at Alyss's hair as she stormed past. It was a giant mess; it looked as if she had rubbed hundreds of pillows on her head and run through a couple bushes. In other words, she was having a very bad hair day.

_Sheesh, even I know when not to use, your hair looks lovely, to a girl. Cassandra would crucify…or decapitate me for royal offense…maybe. Oh well, I hope I didn't use that today._ Horace mused.

"HORACE! GET BACK HERE!"

**Just something funny I whipped up from looking at my previous reviews. That and I think if I have free time I might make a Randomness story for Bleach, Air Gear, maybe Naruto, nah, I don't read that too much, maybe a Yu-gi-oh 5d's fails one-shot and a Hellsing randomness. Thank you for reading all my stories! If you have questions or comments please REVIEW! And tell me what your ideas are. I'm not stopping, just slowing down on these. Now then. YOU GET BACK HERE SO I CAN RIP OFF YOUR HEAD YOU IDIOTIC UNDEAD…ah I ran out of stuff to say! "I'll just grow it back~" AND if any of you know how to kill a character, please tell me. He's going to kill me.**


	9. Ranger Fails 2

**Well, I got bored again and decided to do another fail story! Yay! Get out idiot. "You know you like it!" Rejection, now get out. "Fine"**

Will's drunk

The ground swayed back and forth in his vision and his stomach was churning. He knew, somehow, through the alcohol in his system that Alyss would kill him if he showed up drunk to their cabin. He groaned, but got on Tug anyway and urged him into a slow trot. He swayed back and forth and in a split-second, found himself on the ground. He shrugged and got beck up onto Tug and didn't realize he had wandered into the forest. And in a forest, there are usually low-hanging branches. Will clicked his heals again, urging Tug into an unwise canter. This was his undoing, for he ran into a tree, not a tree limb, the tree itself.

Pursuit

Will growled under his breath as his target ran into the woods. He urged Tug into a gallop and quickly caught up to the man, only to veer away from an oncoming tree. He cursed and looked ahead, ducked a branch and looked in front of him again. This time…he didn't duck. For that matter he didn't even see the branch, until it was being removed from his head.

Fun with Gilan

Horace smiled as he felt out Gilan's defenses. _I'm gonna win this time!_ He thought. Gilan let out a yelp as the practice sword nicked the tip of his hair. He jumped back suddenly and paused to think. He smiled a moment later, thinking about sizes of players. Horace charged again, his sword curving in a deadly, well more like painful, arc at Gilan's chest. Gilan however, jumped above the sword, usilng his light weight and landed on his toes on top of the practice blade. Horace grunted as Gilan kicked him in the face, then he let his sword go and Gilan dropped lightly to the ground. On to Horace's foot, more specifically, his foot found the area in between Gilan's legs. Needless to say, he fell onto the ground withering in pain as Will observed from a nearby tree. "Pain. Pain. Pain. Pain. Pain." Gilan whimpered, rolling around on the ground.

Traps (and not specifically for Will!)

Halt groaned inwardly as his apprentice asked the 349 question. This one actually caused him to twitch in irritation. He whirled on his apprentice faster than a arrow he shot and snapped, "What is it boy?"

"Well, um…what happens when you get your foot caught in a bear trap?" Will asked.

"Simple," Halt grinned deviously, "I cut it off."

Decoy

"I can't believe I'm doing this." Will growled, as he put on his…costume.

"Shut up, if she hears us, I blame you." Halt snapped, as he pulled the dress down over Will's head.

"But why me? Why not Gilan or Alyss? I mean, she's a girl!" Will complained and pulled at the collar.

"Because Gilan's too tall, Alyss is her apprentice for Gorlan's teeth! And you fit the height requirement!" He snapped.

"So, ask on of the other apprentices." Will snapped.

"Well, they're not as loyal to me as you are. Who else would walk into Crowley's tent and steal some papers so I can steal his coffee rations?"

Coffee Rations

Crowley swore as he pulled Will, in a dress onto the ground and pinned him there. He had chased the boy around the whole campsite, twice. He pulled the ridiculous dress over Will's head and grabbed his papers. He swore and growled at him, "What exactly where you planning to do with these?" "I donno Halt just told me to take them." Will said, shrugging. Crowley's eyes widened as he threw Will up into a standing position…somehow… and ran for his tent. He burst in and dove for the coffee bag in the corner, concealed behind a crate of arrows. He landed on the hard dirt instead. He looked around, and then yelled, " HALT!"


	10. Author Note

**Okay just for the record, let me clarify some thingies that have appeared and explain stuffy. And I can't believe it! Stuffy is a real word! But in Fails 2, Note: Tug was a canter, so a trot really. Tug would have either stopped, or veered course. It's not his fault will wasn't sitting in the seat right. As for the coffee rations…that was something that I came up with because…well, I thought Will would look nice in a dress and it would be something Halt would do. Thank you! And Will is not really a funny drunk. Just a insanely klutz of a drunk and possible, debatably blind when drunk. I will be doing more Fials….Fails I meant to do that as I go along and they come to mind. Coffee is a very popular subject for Rangers and therefore, hilarious if found, because they are ALL comedy. And as the old saying goes, A Ranger NEVER misses, therefore explaining Halt's fail. And Horace…pies are fun.**

**PIES ARE FUN!**

**Yes I did have to do that. Now then…QUIT MESSING WITH MY HAIR! Sorry, he does that a lot…crap lost my train of wait no, If you have any specific thing you would like me to write about other than the annoyance behind me please tell me and I'd be happy to do it!**

**-BloodyBlade21**

**I'm going to get Will to SHOOT YOU IF YOU DON"T STOP!**

"**I'll be fine!*singsong voice*" **

**It'll make me feel better**

"**So?"**


	11. What would You do for one?

Klondike Bars

Will (He's ten-ish or at least a year before his Choosing thingy)

Will glared at Horace before snarling, "Fine, but if I do I'm GETTING that Klondike bar."

Horace smirked but said, "Okay, just do it." As he leaned up against the Ward wall.

Will's cheeks got red as he walked up to Alyss. He smiled and said hello before grabbing her roughly by the shoulders and giving her a light kiss on the lips. Then he abruptly turned, walked up to Horace and said, "Your and idiot, a bully and I WANT MY KLONDIKE BAR!"

Halt

Halt smiled as Crowley smirked. Gilan raised an eyebrow at the set up. He was standing in front of a wall, told not to move, given a blind fold, and there was a Klondike bar in Crowley's hand. He didn't like the odds. Halt pulled out his bow and Gilan disliked the odds even more. He quickly wrapped the blind fold around his head, covering his eyes and sent up a silent prayer that Halt would miss. Later, he found himself trapped against the wall in a very odd position. Pinned by a set of arrows, he also later found out that Halt missed. He was aiming for a centimeter left of his eye, he wound up with it below his earlobe. Klondike bars, what would you do?

Gilan

Gilan glared at Will, cursing quietly under his breath before quickly running into the room, grabbing the coffee bag, dumping it on Halt, and running out, all in the span of three seconds. In those three seconds, he sustained, seven arrow holes in his cloak, a throwing knife lodged in his boot, a pebble in his ear, and a large bump on his head and back from a striker, and an angry Halt.

Horace

He never expected to be doing this. He never expected that he would be in any remotely similar situation. He never thought he could be caught up in this situation, than he met Will. "If you kiss Cassandra in the middle of a royal banquet I'll give you a Klondike bar." He said. "What an idiot I am." He muttered as Cassandra slapped him for the fifth time, with a fork.

Crowley

He grumbled something about not be fair before glaring at his friend Halt. He hated it when he was blackmailed into something. He also hated lectures about peeking in a girls' room, manners, bad influences, a Ranger's duty, and something about bets. All in all, he just wanted his prize.

Random Ranger apprentice

He shivered as he approached the tent. He quietly peeked inside and saw no one. Then he quickly took the Ranger's coffee rations and left. Then he did this to three other people. He sighed and sat down on a log by his tent, making a large pot of coffee for himself. From across camp he could here the yells of annoyance and angst. He still couldn't believe he stole Halt's, Will's, Crowley's AND Gilan's coffee for a Klondike bar. But hey, It a bloody Klondike bar!

If you're wondering, Halt's thing was, Shot and Apple off Your Apprentice's Head. He went over board and nailed him to the cabin wall, for a day… or two.


	12. Junes Conversations

**This may be called cheating since I'm actually using my OCs in this, but oh well, I wanted to update this story really badly, just didn't ever have any ideas. :'(. Anywho, on with the show!**

**Age: Five**

**June was being baby sit by the will Treaty's apprentice while he was in a four hour lecture from Alyss about coffee intakes (again). June was sitting quietly on his lap while he sharpened his set of throwing knives. Interested by the sparks, June grabbed his hand. This caused the knife to drop, stabbing into the Ranger's thigh a little bit. He stiffened a large yelp, and reached down to pull the blade out. Only for June to push down on it with her little baby hands.**

**Age: Eight**

**June liked heights. She liked shadows. She liked sneaking up on people. She HATED being snuck up on. These were four facts that the Ranger had confirmed. And in his free time because of the Harvest Festival, instead of spending it with Will and Alyss. He planned to play with June. She had walked under his door frame several times, not bothering to look up as the old door frame creaked under the Ranger's weight. She stopped once, and that was when he struck. He swung down from the ceiling, startling her and receiving a hand across his face. Later when he walked back to Will's house with Alyss she noticed the palm print. "That's what happened to Will the last time her scared me. Only he was across the room and I had a frying pan.**

**(There's just something randomly funny about girls with frying pans!)**

**Age: Thirteen**

**Slap, slap, slappity, kick, slap, scream, run off. All the time just because he put a large dead snake in his backpack. It wasn't his fault she looked.**

**Age: Fifteen**

"**You're an idiot." June said.**

"**No, I'm a coffee addicted psycho who you have to deal with until you become an actual Ranger." He replied.**

"**With your training that'll be until I'm Will's age."**

"**Are you calling me old!" a voice called from above them.**

"**No, but you're not as young as this idiot is."**

"**True, very true, and they do say wisdom comes with age."**

"**Shut it Will, me and June are in a very intellectual conversation."**

"**I bet you don't even know what that means."**

"**Something about intelligence." **

"**Nope."**

"**Don't lie June."**

"**I'm not lying if I'm telling the truth."**

"**Who says you're telling the truth?"**

"**The nice, wise person above your head with a striker."**

"…"


End file.
